TV Hangover
5 days ago
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Seth MacFarlane needs to stop. I understand his appeal. I don’t want to, but I do. Shows like Family Guy and movies like Ted have their place—it’s a filthy, sticky basement of a fraternity house, but it’s a place nonetheless. There is nothing wrong with smoking too much pot and chugging Natty Light while watching a stupid television show. But there is something wrong with this disgusting Cult of MacFarlane that just keeps helping him get more work. It’s a cult that finds nothing funnier than “black Stewie” Twitter parody accounts, that asks Yahoo! Answers questions like, “What pills does Quagmire use on women in Family Guy?”, and that sits in front of the television every Sunday to clap and cheer on a showrunner who often resorts to the same old “women belong in the kitchen” joke. Listen, if you want to be sexist/racist/homophobic or whatever, I can’t stop you, but for the love of God, MacFarlane, at least introduce some originality into your hatred. It’s so bland. You know what’s worse than being one of those “don’t watch my act if you can’t handle it” self-proclaimed offensive shock comics? Being a boring self-proclaimed offensive shock comic. That’s essentially what MacFarlane is. He’s gotten to the point where it’s hard to be offended by him, not because he’s isn’t offensive, but because everything he thinks is edgy has been done a million times before.  I want to yell about his racism, but I can’t stop yawning.

Take the new show he’s co-producing, Dads, set to air Tuesdays this fall. It’s a FOX multi-camera comedy about two guys (perpetual manchild Seth Green and a slumming GiovanniRibisi) whose lives are totally changed when their fathers move in with them. It’s not the most interesting premise (and if MacFarlane wasn’t FOX’s baby, I could easily see it in the middle of a CBS comedy lineup). The preview was released yesterday and oh boy, it’s about as awful as you’d expect from the three men who last teamed up to bring us a movie featuring a stoned teddy bear who fucks hookers. For the most part, it’s all the expected jokes about deadbeat, cheap, and old fathers. But, because this is MacFarlane, we also get some truly lazy racism: Chinese people are distrustful! They hit their children with math books! The most cringeworthy moment features a “joke” about how Brenda Song (oh, honey, what are you doing?) should dress up as a “sexy Asian schoolgirl” to impress some investors. And you know what the hilarious payoff is? She dresses up as a sexy Asian schoolgirl. That’s it. That’s the joke. It makes you want to flip the channel to view the more subtle racism of a 2 Broke Girls episode. It’s stupid and it’s lazy. I know that no one is watching a MacFarlane penned sitcom in hopes of enjoying some high-brow, subversive, and wholly originally comedy. They’re watching it for cheap laughs, cutaway gags, outdated references. Not all television shows have to be intelligent, or even great, but at least give us something interesting to hate-watch, you know? 

4 months ago
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The first season of MTV’s Underemployed went out without a bang but at least it gave us some amazingly awful dialogue. 

6 months ago
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Travie McCoy and Reba McEntire sang a duet on her new sitcom, Malibu Country, prompting everyone on Facebook who likes “everything but rap and country” to rise up and yell “I TOLD YOU SO.”

Travie McCoy and Reba McEntire sang a duet on her new sitcom, Malibu Country, prompting everyone on Facebook who likes “everything but rap and country” to rise up and yell “I TOLD YOU SO.”

7 months ago
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I read the Partners pilot a few weeks ago and honestly expected the worst. I expected right. There were so many terrible and predictable jokes. I watched the trailer shortly after and laughed zero times. Then last night the show premiered and maybe it’s a case of the bad pilot and then you hope it gets better (see what I did there? That’s the kind of gay joke they were writing. Hire me! I can write those too!). Anygay, I sat with a google doc open while watching and wrote down all the hysterical gay jokes that were said in the pilot. I may have missed a couple while zoning out and thinking about why they made Brandon Routh’s character so dumb and how the claps in and out of commercials were so distracting.
“It’s tacky. Color matters, Joe.”
“That’s not a game room. That’s a spa.”
“Bette Midler… Oh my god you know nothing.”
And may I just say,” Joke, joke, joke, gay, gay, gay, I will cut you.”
“Girlfriend, likes her liquor.”
A dog named Elphaba.
“I was just going along because I didn’t want to seem gay.” 
“Wyatt, my love, you’re a male nurse that DVRs everything on Bravo. That ship has sailed.”
“Gays can’t drive stick. Ironic, right?”
“I would make him a panini.” (Trust me, that panini joke was a bad gay joke.)
I don’t even want to waste the time on the Sassy Latina secretary that was discovered on a train platform. This show is an abomigaytion.

I read the Partners pilot a few weeks ago and honestly expected the worst. I expected right. There were so many terrible and predictable jokes. I watched the trailer shortly after and laughed zero times. Then last night the show premiered and maybe it’s a case of the bad pilot and then you hope it gets better (see what I did there? That’s the kind of gay joke they were writing. Hire me! I can write those too!). Anygay, I sat with a google doc open while watching and wrote down all the hysterical gay jokes that were said in the pilot. I may have missed a couple while zoning out and thinking about why they made Brandon Routh’s character so dumb and how the claps in and out of commercials were so distracting.

  • “It’s tacky. Color matters, Joe.”
  • “That’s not a game room. That’s a spa.”
  • “Bette Midler… Oh my god you know nothing.”
  • And may I just say,” Joke, joke, joke, gay, gay, gay, I will cut you.”
  • “Girlfriend, likes her liquor.”
  • A dog named Elphaba.
  • “I was just going along because I didn’t want to seem gay.”
  • “Wyatt, my love, you’re a male nurse that DVRs everything on Bravo. That ship has sailed.
  • “Gays can’t drive stick. Ironic, right?
  • “I would make him a panini.” (Trust me, that panini joke was a bad gay joke.)

I don’t even want to waste the time on the Sassy Latina secretary that was discovered on a train platform. This show is an abomigaytion.

10 months ago
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Molly Lambert’s recaps of True Blood are better than actually watching True Blood.

Molly Lambert’s recaps of True Blood are better than actually watching True Blood.

11 months ago
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We fight like siblings, but we fuck like champions. 

One episode in and True Blood is already just killing it. Really Eric you and your vampire sister fuck like champions? That’s so great to know. I’m glad we had this talk. 

We fight like siblings, but we fuck like champions. 

One episode in and True Blood is already just killing it. Really Eric you and your vampire sister fuck like champions? That’s so great to know. I’m glad we had this talk. 

11 months ago
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Showtime has officially canceled Weeds — and only about five seasons too late! Season eight will be the show’s last which isn’t exactly bad news considering how much the series has declined over the years. Admittedly, there were a few great moments in the last couple of seasons but they were never enough to make up for the show’s bigger flaws. Plus, it got really hard to care about Nancy Botwin once Walter White started hanging around our televisions. But really, we’re just hoping that Shane and Silas will get a Botwin Brothers spinoff. 

1 year ago
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NBC’s upcoming battle-of-the-sexes sitcom, Next Caller, is about a radio station, is banking on the popularity (?) of Dane Cook, and features him wearing a CBGB shirt so I’m pretty sure it’s not supposed to take place in 2012. 

NBC’s upcoming battle-of-the-sexes sitcom, Next Caller, is about a radio station, is banking on the popularity (?) of Dane Cook, and features him wearing a CBGB shirt so I’m pretty sure it’s not supposed to take place in 2012. 

1 year ago
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You’ll be happy to know that Happily Divorced still knows how to write a hysterical gay joke.

You’ll be happy to know that Happily Divorced still knows how to write a hysterical gay joke.

1 year ago
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Breaking In is back and it was one of our most favorite shows to hate and maybe the creators & writers know that now? Like is this show self-aware now? They added Megan Mullally to the cast and the first episode isn’t terrible? I think I almost liked it. Sorry.
Come on with the Heathers reference, though. You’ve done that one already and JD had plenty of other lines.

Breaking In is back and it was one of our most favorite shows to hate and maybe the creators & writers know that now? Like is this show self-aware now? They added Megan Mullally to the cast and the first episode isn’t terrible? I think I almost liked it. Sorry.

Come on with the Heathers reference, though. You’ve done that one already and JD had plenty of other lines.

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