TV Hangover

Predicting What Happened After Breaking Bad Ended

• Jesse somehow managed to avoid any and all jail time. He’s taking care of Brock, maybe he’s also taking care of that little redheaded kid, and they play a lot of video games together. He draws web comics. He sometimes debates becoming a science teacher but doesn’t do anything about it. Once in a while, he jams with Badger and Pete in a shitty garage band. He go-karts with Brock every Saturday. He has a lot of nightmares, but he’s staying sober.

• Walt Jr./Flynn wrote a killer personal essay for college and was awarded enough in scholarships that he doesn’t need to take any of his father’s drug money. He tried to drink tequila at his first college party but vomits from the smell of it and decided to stick to beer instead. Girls love him. They think he’s tortured.

• Skyler enrolled in writing classes at the local community college. She’s working a novel, because everyone is always working on a novel, but it’s not about Walt. She would never write a novel about Walt. She quit smoking but keeps an unopened pack inside the top drawer on her nightstand. Just in case.

• Holly tried meth on her seventeenth birthday but it doesn’t stick. She’s forever stuck in a rebellious stage. 

• Marie started shoplifting again but the police still feel so awful about Hank that they just let her get away with it. She worries that she’s in love with her therapist. She drinks a lot of wine. She hasn’t touched any of Hank’s minerals.

• Saul manages a laser tag place in Nebraska. He’s rebuilding his collection of suits. He watches Low Winter Sun and flinches at loud noises.

• Oddly enough, Louis is the only person who visits Walter White’s grave. It’s creepy. 

• Badger and Pete live together in a nice house around the corner from Jesse. They’ve stopped doing hard drugs but they still smoke too much weed. Between them, they have twenty-six half-finished screenplays and one recorded podcast episode that they never got around to uploading. Sometimes, when Pete drinks too much, he thinks about kissing Badger.

• Huell is still in a hotel room, but this time it’s by choice. He’s been holed up with Wendy the hooker who is now Wendy the love of his life. Huell doesn’t judge Wendy’s occupation; Wendy brings Huell as many burgers as he wants. They have a karaoke machine. Huell is reasonably happy.