The Hangover Session with Maris Kreizman of Slaughterhouse 90210.
You have to be living under a pile of old US Weekly’s to not have heard of her blog. She takes screen shots of TV shows and captions them with literary quotes from authors like Austen, Salinger, Atwood, Vonnegut, Lorrie Moore, and others. We at TV Hangover are so honored to have Maris be our first tumblr/blogger to take part in what we hope will be a continuing series of interviews getting to know what people watch and why? It should also be noted this series was and will continue to be inspired by SkeetOnMischa’s Silly Questions for Smart People.
What TV character would you most like to have drinks with?
For witty conversation, Veronica Mars. For commiseration, Claire Fisher or Peggy Olsen. For flirtation over PBRs, Tim Riggins. For a night of partying, I’d take Stefon from SNL to the Snake Pit and bring Brian Kinney from Queer As Folk along for the ride.
Where do you watch TV? Do you watch television on an actual TV?
I watch television on an actual TV in my living room. And I have a Blu-Ray, so I can watch my Netflix On Demand on my TV too. No savings account to speak of, but I’ve got that Blu-Ray!
What is your “must see tv”?
Currently: Mad Men, Community, Parks & Rec, 30 Rock, Friday Night Lights
Is Friday night a viable time slot for important television shows? Can TGIFridays ever make a comeback? I watch almost everything on DVR, so time slots are not so important to me these days. I have fond memories of being a kid and watching Full House on Friday nights, followed 12 hours later by Saturday morning cartoons. Not sure that magic can ever be recreated, but I will say this: I look forward to Friday Night Lights every single week (RIP).
You must choose a TV mom to give you “The Talk” to when you were younger who would it have been? Why?
When I was a kid I used to wish Tina Yothers didn’t exist, so that I could play Jennifer Keaton on Family Ties. I like the idea of Elise Keaton sitting me down at the kitchen table late one night with a bunch of cookies. Mallory, of course, is there too. We have a really intense heart to heart—full of honesty and post-hippie values—and I’m good to go. The only complication about being Jennifer Keaton would be figuring out what to do with all these non-sisterly feelings I have for my older brother.
You have control over the writing & casting of Glee, who would you choose to kill off in a VERY SPECIAL EPISODE?
I don’t have it in me to hate Rachel Berry because in high school I was rather Berry-like: the show tunes, the clothes (I was a Jewish girl who liked knee socks), the ambition tempered by insecurity, the terrible taste in boys.
Which means that the character I hate the most is Finn, who’s been a real dick to both Rachel and Quinn (and whose vocal abilities are rather lacking). So, I would bring in Robyn to play a dance teacher charged with showing Rachel how to make unrequited love sound fun! “Dancing On My Own,” would be a huge production number, complete with lots of lights and a big, fat not-entirely-secure disco ball. At the end of the song, Finn comes running to Rachel to talk about his feelings, and just as he’s about to reach her, of course, the disco ball drops on his head. He falls to the floor, breaks his neck. We are all free.
If you could bring one TV show back from the dead which would it be & why?
Party Down. So many of my favorite shows were on their last legs when they were canceled, but Party Down was still in its prime. It was so witty and well-acted and so much fun. One of the only good things to come of its cancelation is that Adam Scott got to join the cast of Parks & Recreation. I can’t wait to see what Lizzy Kaplan will do next.
I also need to shout out Freaks & Geeks. We all know that so many members of the cast have gone on to be megastars, but I still think that that one season of F&G was a huge career highlight for most of them. It’s also one of my favorite shows to use on my blog because I read so much coming-of-age literature, and this was the ultimate coming-of-age show.
What TV show are you embarrassed to say you watch regularly?
The Real World. I’ve watched since season 1, when this guy who went to my high school named Eric Nies was one of the original cast members. The show started as this great experiment: how will cast members from varied walks of life interact when forced to cohabitate? I was truly invested in watching these people pursue their dreams and struggle for mutual understanding with their housemates.
Nowadays, of course, The Real World is the polar opposite of “real.” The major conflict of any given episode seems to be, like, “Will the girl who looks like a Maxim model sleep with the violent alcoholic who looks like a Tommy Hilfiger model, the dumb jock who looks like an Abercrombie model, or the wholesome girl who looks like a J. Crew model? Or all three?” And none of the cast members seem to have any post-show ambitions beyond getting paid to make appearances at cheesy night clubs and drinking for free. It’s like a breeding ground for wannabe Kardashians. And yet I still watch.
Who is the most underrated actress on TV right now?
Why Connie Britton, AKA Mrs. Coach, doesn’t have at least 3 Emmys in her possession is beyond me. Her performance has made Tami Taylor the heart and soul of Friday Night Lights, the perfect blend of ordinary and glamorous, weary and earnest, subtle and passionate. She can also wear the shit out of a pair of jeans.
Also: Amy Poehler, I luv you.
Favorite new series?
If you’re looking for a show that deserves comparisons to Twin Peaks in terms of its style and content matter, The Killing is fine, but Pretty Little Liars is better. Pretty Little Liars favors plot over character development—none of its teenage stars are looking to win acting awards—but its fast pace makes it all the more addictive. And any time it starts to devolve into a Forever 21 ad, an unsettling camera angle is used, or an oddball character is introduced. Just enough to keep it interesting. As a side note, it sorta frightens me that so many of my favorite shows are dead teenage girls.
What book do you think could be made into a great TV show?
Geek Love by Katherine Dunn or Swamplandia by Karen Russell. I could see either of them becoming a highly stylized, exquisitely costumed dramedy that would contain a nice balance of fantasy and realism. I think I’m one of the few people who loved the HBO show Carnivale, and I could see either one of those books being a similarly spooky and affecting TV show. AMC: get on this!
If you could only watch one show, what would that show be?
I guess I’d have to go for a show that’s shot enough episodes for it to take me a while to get through them all. So, The Simpsons seems like a good choice. I will certainly never turn down a rerun of 90210 (the original), though, that’s for sure.
Paula Abdul or J-Lo?
Paula is much more entertaining. I like my trainwrecks drunk.
Laguna Beach or The Hills?
Laguna Beach, before the cast was “famous.” Sure, they were this privileged, great- looking group of kids, but they also possessed this unfakeable vulnerability. LC was a gorgeous girl who was clearly the high school queen bee, and yet there was not a hint of artifice about her. You could read every single emotion she was feeling simply by looking at her face. And that openness made her totally, painfully relatable. Also, I liked the Valley Girl way that Kristin pronounced “Stephen.”
Dawson or Pacey?
Pacey. I’m a sucker for smartasses. And he gave such good banter.
Brenda or Kelly?
Brenda. She was a brat, but I loved her. Which isn’t to say I wasn’t a fan of Kelly’s. In my ideal world, Brenda & Dylan would have some crazy double wedding with Brandon & Kelly. I would run off with Stuart Carson.
Best hangover remedy?
Large iced coffee, 3 Advils, scoop of peanut butter, hours and hours of Buffy reruns.
What other tumblrs/bloggers would you like to see answer questions like this?
emmainpictures, austinkleon, Interweber, blurintofocus, rach, imjasondiamond